10/21/2009

Breaking free




I have this book that I have started reading. I have been holding onto this book for about 9 months now and have never taken the time to read it. It is amazing! It is "Breaking Free" by Beth Moore, and did I mention that it is just amazing? I found this book while I was out soul searching one day, and it jumped out at me. The title alone just captured my attention and spoke to me. So, I have dusted it off and have started my journey of breaking free.

Ten Seven of the things that I am trying to break free from:

1. My poor self-image. I cannot remember the last time that I felt comfortable in my own skin. I can always find something wrong with me. I don't want to feel this way and I don't want to pass this way of thinking onto my daughter. I want to teach her that she is beautiful just the way that God made her.

2. My foolish pride. Funny enough, the first chapter of this book deals with pride and how it can lead to our downfall. I have been battling my pride for most of my life. My pride refuses to let me cry out for help when I am desperately in need of it. My pride tells me that I can do it ALL on my own. What a liar my pride is.

3. My poisonous tongue. Oh yes, this perhaps should be on the top of my list. There are many moments when I need to just bite my tongue. My tongue always gets the best of me. I don't really have a problem with gossiping or that sort of thing (never really cared for the stuff), I am talking more along the lines of a hurtful tongue. My poor hubby (okay, sometimes he sort of deserves it) gets the brunt of it. When I am hurt or angered things just seem to automatically come out the wrong way. It's like my tongue has a mind of its' own and can really say some mean, hateful things! I don't want to say mean and hateful things. So I want to break free from the underlying anger that takes control of my tongue. I want only beautiful, loving words to come from my mouth.

4. Fear. Fear has taken over me and has been beating me up for several years now. Sometimes it becomes so overwhelming that I don't know how I get any sleep at night. I want to be rid of this fear and fully know that our lives are in the hand of our Creator and nobody else has control over it.

5. Anxiety. Anxiety loves to hang out with Fear. They are best buddies and will go all out until they have you completely in their clutches. I cannot wait to kick these two to the curb!

6. Regret. Man, that regret is a funny little thing. Just when you think that she has left for good she appears, once again, stronger then ever! Maybe one day I will understand that everything in my past is over, and I cannot go back and change it. I just have to move ahead and know that whether the decision was good or bad, I have hopefully learned from it and it has lead me to where I am now.

7. Guilt. If Fear and Anxiety are best buddies, then Guilt and Regret are twins. Not identical but fraternal twins. They don't look exactly alike but they are pretty similar and they both arrive at the same time. I cannot wait to break free from the guilt that I carry around like a heavy coat of armor. How much easier it will be to run forward without guilt!

Okay, so I started out thinking that I could easily list ten things that I was ready to break free from. After thinking about the first seven, I am mentally and emotionally drained.

I cannot wait to be free from all of these troubles that are weighing me down.
I am ready to surrender them all.

newsig

14 comments:

Lissa October 21, 2009 at 6:32 PM  

oh sweet girl... I went through the breaking free bible study for the very same reasons that you are. It's been a LONG process (several years) But if I'm not free yet then I'm almost there. I'm not the same girl. and you don't have to be either! Don't ever give up! I'm walking right with you!

Kasey October 21, 2009 at 8:32 PM  

Ali...what a beautiful post...i struggle with some of the same one's.
I think we all have things we need help with and need to work on.
kudos to you.
xo

gina October 22, 2009 at 2:47 AM  

i have the same struggles, i felt like i was reading the story about my life!! we are lucky though, we have GOD in our lives. the bday hat is from this store: http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5085782

have a great day!!

Tracey October 22, 2009 at 2:13 PM  

I think almost all of us can identify with most or all of the things you have listed! Good for you for making the effort to break free...and ultimately have a more fulfilling life for yourself! I'm proud of you girl!!!

:) T

ellie October 22, 2009 at 9:53 PM  

I struggle with about everything you listed :) and I struggle with being transparent on my blogs because of those things. Good on ye' for being so transparent, it is a good step in the right direction. I did the Breaking Free Bible Study about 5 years ago, maybe it is time for me to pull it back out and join you in your journey.

Thanks for leaving a comment on my blog "Shine" - it is good to meet you :)

xo ellie

Stuff could always be worse October 23, 2009 at 8:20 AM  

Love this post, found you at MBC. will be a follower
kim

tara October 23, 2009 at 4:57 PM  

Alison, your writing is so beautiful, I can see you are really trying to find who you are for the better..I can relate to so many...thank you for honesty, it does a dose of good when we can be honest with outselves!

Jen October 23, 2009 at 7:22 PM  

Love, love, love Beth Moore and Breaking Free! Hope your enjoying it! I will just comment on #1 You are a creation in Christ and He made you perfect in His image. I to find all kinds of ugly things about myself and that hurts His heart because He made me and you too! Blessing to you!

LeeAnn@Encouragement Is Contagious October 23, 2009 at 9:10 PM  

What a beautiful blog you have. I love your photographs and your music. From what I've read you also have beautiful heart!

I found your blog from Lissa at Humble Pie blog.

Lee Ann

bigguysmama October 25, 2009 at 2:03 PM  

Beth Moore studies are awesome!! Thanks for sharing. I found you through the new Mom Link Roundup on Mom Blogger.

Blessings,
Mimi

The Girl Next Door Grows Up October 25, 2009 at 4:20 PM  

Ali, what a truly honest post. Hey girl, you only have today. Don't worry about the past or the future. Don't waste the time. Life can be hard, yes, but when you are down, try to find ONE good thing and focus on that even if it is just that the sun is shining!

Really like your blog, I am going to follow you!!

Mrsblogalot October 28, 2009 at 3:58 PM  

Ali, I loved this!!!!

Did you know that Love and Admire are sisters?

Yup, different fathers but related nevertheless (-:

Beautiful post friend!

Melissa November 1, 2009 at 10:57 AM  

Ali,
Thank you for visiting my photography blog and for leaving such a sweet comment. I'm so glad you did because it lead me right on over to your lovely blog. Your pictures are absolutely amazing! What a wonderful talent you have been blessed with! I wanted to tell you that this post touched my heart, I could have written it myself because my whole life I have struggle with every single one of those things too! I am currently working on changing them as well especially #1, I will be sure to check out the book by Beth Moore. Thank you for sharing this beautiful post and I will definitely become a follower of your beautiful blog.

Christina January 12, 2010 at 10:15 PM  

I have enjoyed scrolling down here...I feel I can relate to a lot of what I see!
You have beautiful children. :) And you take wonderful pictures.
And what a backyard! I'm sure I'll be back to see what new adventures the other side of the world holds for you.

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I am a wife, and mother to three beautiful babies (well..one is not so much a baby anymore)! In 2009 I departed my career of 14 years to stay at home with my babies. That first year I thought that I might just go crazy....I survived! The road has been bumpy but gets better everyday. I might even be getting a little more domesticated along the way! I'm learning to love this path that my life has taken. Can't wait to see what's next!

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